


iWant You

by SamanthaSarcasm



Category: iCarly
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-07
Updated: 2010-09-08
Packaged: 2014-05-02 02:21:29
Rating: T
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,509
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6307311/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1865950/SamanthaSarcasm
Summary: "Are you sure you're not gay?" "I'm not." "Then why are you still standing here?" Socko had been almost perfect at hiding his feelings for his best friend. But when he gets drunk one night, everything changes. Please make sure to review!





	1. Chapter 1

This is going to be Spencer/Socko slash. If you don't like slash, or this pairing, you should just stop reading. Anyway, please review!

"Hey, Socko!" Spencer yelled cheerfully into the phone.

"Hey man, what's up?" Socko asked, smiling. He'd been having somewhat of a bad day, but he couldn't stay miserable when he was talking to his best friend. Spencer just had personality; he was contagious.

"Well, Carly is out of town with Sam and Freddie, doing an iCarly thing... And-"

"And you're sick of watching uncensored Girlie Cow dvds and eating cupcakes, trying to avoid the fact that you're alone?" Spencer froze, mouth open, as he had been about to take a bite into his third cupcake. The tv was in fact playing one of the Girlie Cow dvds, and it was the last disc he had. He lowered the phone and looked around suspiciously. He stood up, and started checking around. Bringing the phone back up to his ear, Spencer asked, "How can you see me? Are you hiding under the stairs again?"

Socko's laugh rang through his ears, bringing an unconscious smile to his face. "Okay, first off, that was one time! And your face when i jumped out; best moment of my life. Just saying. But secondly, i don't need to be there to know what you're doing. We've been best friends for as long as i can remember. Trust me, i know you by now." Socko told him. "I'll be there in like five minutes, alright?"

"Right-o, Socko!"

"You're such a child."

"You love me."

'You have no idea...' Socko thought. "You wish, man." He hung up the phone, and jumped up, heading for the door.

Spencer too hung up the phone and jumped up. He looked down at himself, wearing pajama pants and a horribly stained white shirt. He ran into his room, throwing off his pants and shirt. He ran to his closet, wearing nothing but his rubber ducky boxers and grabbed some clothes. He pulled on some black skinny pants, and grabbed his belt. He heard a knock at the door, and knew it must be Socko.

"Come in!" He shouted, still searching for a shirt. Then he remembered that he'd just done laundry, the basket of clean clothes still in the living room. He ran out of his room, and crashed into Socko. They both staggered back, each groaning, "ouch."

"I was wondering where you-" Socko stopped mid sentence, and looked at Spencer. "Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" He asked, voice quiet.

Spencer made his way to the living room, Socko's eyes glued on him. He didn't notice, however. "I left my clean shirts out here." He said, grabbing the first shirt he saw. Socko swallowed, and remained silent.

Socko was only human. Sure, he'd learned how to control himself. In most ways, at least. He could keep himself from acting out and jumping Spencer's bones, and he could stop his... anatomy from reacting. But he didn't trust himself enough to speak. He couldn't control what he was thinking, so he didn't know if he could keep himself from saying any of it out loud. Besides his thoughts, he also couldn't control his eyes, no matter how hard he tried. They just had a mind of their own. And every chance they got, all they wanted to do was _look_. So, they raked over Spencer's torso, taking in every inch of what they saw. He tried to be subtle about it, but Spencer was too busy trying to figure out how his shirt went to notice anything. Finally, Spencer slipped his arms into the sleeves and did up the buttons, much to Socko's - hidden - disappointment.

"You wanna drink?" Spencer asked, completely oblivious. Socko nodded slowly. Spencer blinked, confused by his friend's silence.

"Are you okay, man?" He asked, concerned.

"What?" Socko asked, before shaking his head. "Oh. Yeah. I'm fine." He dismissed. Spencer eyed him for a moment, unsure, and Socko shifted uncomfortably under his friend's gaze. "Whatcha got to drink?" He asked to change the subject. Spencer shrugged, and made his way to the fridge. Socko let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"Beer?" Spencer asked, holding out two bottles. Socko looked at them apprehensively. He was a talkative drunk. What if he said something he shouldn't? Or, what if he did something he shouldn't? But, then again, he'd gotten drunk around Spencer before. Of course, those times had been in a crowded bar. This time it was just him and Spencer alone in Spencer's apartment. He wasn't sure if he trusted himself. But, he decided, he would just not get drunk. One or two beers wouldn't really affect him. He'd be fine.


	2. Chapter 2

"Speeeeencer!" Socko whined, taking another sip of what was either his fourth or fifth - he couldn't remember - beer. Spencer looked at his friend, who was slouched all over the couch. "Why are you friends with me?" He asked, resting his legs on Spencer's lap. Spencer looked down and rolled his eyes, pushing the legs off of him. Socko readjusted lazily, so that he was sitting Indian style on the couch, facing his friend.

"I don't know," Spencer started honestly. It wasn't something that could be put into words, he and Socko's friendship, so the reason why wasn't either. "I guess, since we've known each other since we were like seven."

Socko slapped Spencer's leg, somewhat gripping it, and Spencer jumped from the contact. "Yes, but _why_? You could've just decided i was weird, and then we never would've gotten to know each other and become friends. Why didn't that happen?

"Because we're best friends." He prepared himself for Socko to ask why, again, but Socko nodded enthusiastically instead.

"Ohhhhhhh. That makes sense." Spencer stared at his best friend, who was finishing the rest of his beer, and laughed lightly and his alcohol-induced stupidity. He started flipping through the channels of his tv, trying to find something to watch. He then became very aware of the hand that was still on his leg, as it moved up a bit and rested on his thigh. A strange spark ran through him, and he looked at it nervously before looking at Socko.

"Socko, what are-" He was cut off as Socko jumped up, so that he was now sitting on his knees, the one hand still sitting comfortably on Spencer's thigh.

"Shhhhh!" He hissed, bringing up his free hand to place a finger on Spencer's lips.

Spencer could feel himself flush, and a sudden feeling of self consciousness rushed through him. He felt Socko's hand twitch against his thigh, and he worried for a moment that it was going to travel up further into dangerous territory. He glanced down for a moment at the finger that was pressed against his lips before returning his gaze to Socko's face, which was several inches closer to his then it had been a moment ago.

"Where's Carly?" Socko whispered. Spencer shoved the and away from his face, and backed away from Socko a bit.

"I-I told you. She's off doing an iCarly thing with her friends this weekend. Spencer told him weakly, trying to keep himself calm. Socko retorted with a strange "psh" sound.

"Well, that's stupid." He stated. "If i lived here, where all i had to do was walk through my house to see you, i'd never leave." Socko looked at him, an innocent, earnest look in his eyes and on his face. Spencer only stared in response, his eyebrows furrowed. Socko sighed, and moved closer again. A feeling of something he couldn't explain shot through Spencer when Socko's thumb caressed his thigh lightly. He went to say something, but was interrupted when Socko suddenly moved. He swung one leg over to the other side of Spencer, so that he was straddling him. Nervousness, panic, and something he couldn't describe over took Spencer.

"Socko, what-"

"I may be bias though, since i've wanted you for like, forever." Socko continued, oblivious to Spencer's attempts at moving. "But that's your fault, not mine." He defended as he reached his hands to the top button of Spencer's shirt, undoing it rather easily for a drunk man. "Like earlier," he started, undoing another button. Spencer's breath was caught in his throat, and he couldn't think right. A sudden haze was keeping him from forming a sentence, whether it be spoken or thought, and he could barely see straight. "When i got here, and you had _this_," he tugged at the shirt before undoing yet another button, "all off. It's like you wanted me to jump you right there."

Socko silently finished undoing the buttons on Spencer's shirt, and pushed the pieces of fabric to the sides so that he could get a good look at Spencer's chest again. Almost lazily, he laid a hand on Spencer's stomach. Spencer's muscles fluttered beyond his control underneath the warm touch, and his breathing became harsh, and shallow.

Spencer had never been in this situation before, or a situation that was anything even similar to it. Socko was his best friend. He had never thought about Socko - or any man for that matter - in this way before, and he had no idea that Socko had been thinking about him like this. He was stunned, and didn't know how to react to what was happening. Would their friendship survive this?

Yes, friendship, Because there was no way that anything more than that would be happening between them. Spencer didn't think about men this way; he'd never even considered it. He had been raised in a family that had traditional views and ideas when it came to relationships and love. Men were supposed to be with women, women were supposed to be with men, and that was it. That was all he'd ever really known. But that was because that's how things were supposed to be... Right?

He'd been lost in his own thoughts, but Spencer snapped back to reality when he felt warm lips make contact with his neck. Kisses were placed generously all around his neck, and he could feel himself shudder when Socko's tongue would flick out to graze his skin. Socko nipped at his collarbone, and started a trail of kisses up his neck and along his jawbone. Although his mind was in a blur, he was able to bring himself to push Socko back a little.

"This can't happen." He managed to say with a relatively calm voice, despite the hitched breathing he couldn't control. Socko didn't say anything, but began moving closer again.

"N-No," Spencer stuttered, Socko's lips mere centimeters from his own.

"Let me." Socko requested quietly, a certain tone in his voice that Spencer couldn't quite figure out. Spencer shook his head as forcefully as he could. "Please?" Socko asked, moving even closer. Spencer only shook his head again.

Socko moved to place kisses on the other side of Spencer's neck, once again trailing them up and along his jawbone. He continued them up his cheek, and began placing small, deliberate kisses on the corner of Spencer's mouth. "Let me." He repeated in a whisper. Spencer couldn't move or speak at all anymore. A strange, firey feeling was burning through him, overpowering his senses.

Socko leaned back to meet Spencer's eyes, watching him carefully. He seemed to be searching for something, and although the gaze unnerved him, Spencer couldn't look away. It occurred to him that Socko was checking for any more protests, but he couldn't find his voice to give eyes flickered down to Socko's lips before he could stop himself. He watched them curve in to a gentle smirk, and Socko moved closer again.

Their lips met, and Spencer's eyes fluttered closed automatically. He didn't pull away, but he didn't quite react either. Socko's hands reached up, one hand cupping Spencer's face, the other one sliding around to grip the back of his neck. Spencer's hands rested unintentionally on Socko's hips, which only encouraged the man further. Socko kissed him more enthusiastically, sucking gently on Spencer's lower lip. His fingers dug deeply into Socko's hips, and before he could stop himself, Spencer was returning the kiss, mouth opening, allowing Socko's tongue to dart inside.

The burning feeling in Spencer's chest only got worse. He felt as though he might explode. An intense tingling sensation ran through him, down his arms and to the tips of his fingers, which were now gripping Socko's hips as if his life depended on it, down his spine and through his legs, reaching the tips of his toes. Everywhere Socko's skin touched his, burned with white hot flames. His brain was fogged, and he couldn't concentrate on anything other then the lips that were on his own and the tongue that was currently battling with his for dominance.

Everything came to a complete stop when Socko jerked back, their lips parting with an loud "smack". Spencer's mind collided back to place. He couldn't keep himself from panting, because he just couldn't get enough air to his lungs.

"Are you gay, Spencer?" Socko asked, breathless, with a curious look in his eyes. Immediately, Spencer shook his head violently. Socko tilted his head slightly, and tucked the bit hair that fallen in Spencer's face behind his ear. Spencer let out a haggard breath, and once again couldn't tear his eyes away from Socko's.

"Are you sure?" Socko questioned. "Because i think what just happened says differently." Socko smirked, and Spencer could feel himself blush.

Before Socko could do or say anything else to make things more complicated, Spencer pushed him off his lap. Socko eyed him nervously, a hurt expression on his face. Spencer ignored it the best he could, and stood up, clearing his throat as he did. "Y-You're obviously too drunk to drive home tonight, so... You can just stay here on the couch." He started, and pointed at the couch for emphasis. "Right here. On the couch." He repeated. "And i'll go into my room, and we can both get some sleep." He paused, backing away awkwardly. "Sleep." He once again repeated himself. "In separate beds. Like normal people... C-Cause that's how it's supposed to be."

"But, Spence-"

"N-No. You," He pointed at Socko, and then held his hands up, "Stay. Here. On the couch. And i'll go to my room. By myself. While you stay here." He insisted. "On the couch." He practically ran into his room, and slammed the door shut before Socko had time to protest any further.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone. Thanks for reading, and make sure to review!**

Socko honestly considered walking out the front door when he woke up. Maybe if he just walked away and never mentioned it, Spencer would forget that the entire thing ever happened. But Socko knew that was just wishful thinking. No, instead he'd have to deal with Spencer yelling at him, and maybe even punching him in the face, whether he dealt with it now, or later. He sat up, and groaned. His head was pounding, a result of one of the worst hangovers he'd ever had. He was somewhat surprised he could even remember last night; because a hangover this bad must mean he'd had alot more to drink than he'd planned to.

"Here." The voice startled him, and he looked up. Spencer was holding a couple aspirin and a glass of water out to him. Socko tried to make eye contact with him, but Spencer was focusing his gaze on the wall. Socko took the aspirin and popped them into his mouth before washing them down with the water. He watched Spencer walk back into the kitchen and back again, this time with a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in his hand. Socko eyed it, and then looked up at Spencer again. this time Spencer met his gaze, but only for a split second. He then turned his focus elsewhere again.

"It'll help... With the hangover." He muttered quietly, setting the plate down on the table.

"Spencer, wait." Socko said as Spencer turned away from him. Spencer didn't reply, but continued walking away. "Spencer," he tried again, to no avail. He got up and started after Spencer, grabbing his arm gently. "Spencer..."

Hesitantly, Spencer stopped, and turned back to face the other man. "What?" His voice sounded tired, and it was because Spencer had honestly gotten only about two hours of sleep. He looked up at Socko, too many emotions flickering through his eyes that Socko couldn't begin to figure out what they were. Socko looked down and cleared his throat as he tried to compose himself.

"I... I'm sorry." He said quietly. Spencer back away, and nodded weakly.

"It's fine." He answered, and once again started heading for the kitchen. Socko watched him intensely, suddenly angry. He followed Spencer once again.

"That - That's it? It's _fine_?"

Spencer sighed, and looked at him again. "What else do you want me to say, Socko?"

"I don't know! But i want you to say _something_!" Socko said angrily. "Yell at me; tell me i'm disgusting. Say that you don't want to hangout anymore. Argue with me and tell me that you hate me." Socko began, his voice raised and lined with desperation. "Just don't..." He paused, trying to find the words. "Don't ignore it. Or me. Just yell at me or whatever. Please."

Spencer shook his head slowly. "I don't hate you." He nearly whispered.

"Then what?" Socko asked. "Just tell me, please. I don't like assuming or guessing."

"I don't know, okay?" Spencer snapped. "I. Don't. Know." He nearly shouted, making Socko take a small step back. "I have no fucking idea what you're expecting me to say, Socko! I mean, how am i supposed to react?" He continued, raising his hands in exasperation.

"I-I don't know." Socko stammered. "I just don't want you to not say anything..." He stepped closer, but Spencer jumped back.

"_Don't_." Spencer demanded. Immediately, Socko stopped dead. He looked down, biting his lip. Spencer shook his head, and stepped forward,

"No... I didn't mean..." He trailed off, not know what to say. But he didn't like to see Socko upset. Spencer realized that he was in Socko's personal space, and it made him feel self conscious. But, before he could back away again, Socko looked up at him.

Spencer's breath caught in his throat, and he found himself unable to move. Socko's eyes met his for a moment, and then they flickered down to his lips. Spencer knew what was about to happen, but he once again couldn't find the words to protest. Socko leaned in, but stopped, their lips barely touching.

"Are you sure you aren't gay? Socko breathed.

"I'm not." Spencer insisted, but his eyes once again fluttered closed.

"Then why are you still standing here?"

Socko pressed his lips to Spencer's, hesitantly at first. When Spencer didn't push him away, he reached his arms up to wrap gently around Spencer's slim waist, and brought him closer. Spencer reached his hand up to Socko's shoulder, with every intention of pushing him back. But instead, he gripped Socko's shirt, and opened his mouth slightly, returning the kiss. The same sensation from the night before ran through Spencer, and a small moan escaped him. He felt Socko's lips curve into a smirk, and he started walking backwards, bringing Spencer with him, mouths never parting. It only took a moment for Spencer to figure out that Socko was taking him to the couch, and suddenly it hit him what was happening.

Spencer broke the kiss and shook his head. "No." He pushed Socko away, and backed up. "I don't want this."

"Then why didn't you stop me?" Socko demanded.

"I just did."

"No. You could've stopped me before it started. But you didn't." Socko was watching him intently, trying to read his facial expression.

"I," he paused in thought. "I," He started again. "I was caught off guard." He defended. "Look; it doesn't matter. I just... No. Okay? No. This can't happen." He crossed his arms and backed away further.

"Why not? You obviously want it... You're just freaking out because you're new to it. That's fine. But denying it won't do anything." Socko told him, taking a step towards him.

"There is nothing to deny." Spencer retorted.

"Spencer, -"

"No! Socko, _i don't want this_! Just back off!"

Socko stopped then, and looked down at his shoes before nodding slowly. "Right." He grabbed his jacket and slipped his shoes on. "I should go." Spencer didn't argue with him, or try to apologize like before. Instead, he just watched the other man make his way out the door.

Spencer sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. Things like this weren't supposed to happen in real life. These kinds of things happened in soap operas and movies that people watched to feel better about their not-so-overly-dramatic lives. Socko was his best friend, and he didn't want to lose that. But at the same time, Spencer didn't want these advancements Socko made on him to continue. He wasn't gay; being gay was unnatural. He'd been taught that all his life. His father was in the Navy, for Pete's sake. Not that any of that mattered. Because even if he hadn't been raised that way, he wasn't gay. He'd crushed on and dating many girls. Well, not exactly _many_, but enough. While he had never really had a long lasting relationship, all the relationships he'd been in were with girls. So that meant he was straight... Right?


	4. Chapter 4

**This is probably going to be the last chapter of this fic. But, i might make a sequel to it since i have ideas. I'm not sure yet though. Anyway, please review!**

When Socko got back to his place, he kicked his shoes off, tossed his jacket aside, and threw the first thing he could find at the wall. The television remote bounced off the wall, breaking apart with a loud crack as it hit the floor. He let out a long, aggravated breath and ran his fingers through his hair. He _knew_ it had been an idea to drink when he was alone with Spencer. But, he had been over confident in his ability to control himself; and now he was in the worst possible situation. He'd never seen Spencer act the way he had earlier.

'_I don't want this!'_ The words were still trapped in Socko's head, repeating over and over, a silent torment. But if Spencer didn't want it, why had he let him kiss him again? And why did he kiss back?

Socko groaned, momentarily forgetting about the mess he'd made as he thought about the kiss, along with what had happened the night before. God, how he'd wanted that to happen for the longest time. He'd thought about it many times, just telling Spencer how he felt, but he'd never been able to work up the nerve. Turned out, all he'd needed was a little liquid courage.

He sighed, and started pacing around the room. Spencer had kissed back. Both times, he'd kissed back. But he said he wasn't gay. He said he didn't want this. Then _why_ did he kiss back? Maybe he was right at what he said earlier; maybe it was just because Spencer new to this and confused, so he was is denial.

But what if he was wrong? Maybe Spencer really had just been caught off guard. The kiss could've meant nothing to him. Continuing to press on about the subject could just piss off Spencer further. He couldn't lose their friendship. He wanted nothing more than to really be with Spencer, but he could deal with just friendship. He _needed_ at least the friendship. Because not having Spencer around in any way was an idea he couldn't deal with. He wanted Spencer in his life. He could give up his fantasy, his dream, his wish that Spencer felt the same. He would give it all up, because there was a chance that if he didn't, he could lose Spencer all together. And he couldn't let that happen.

A loud knocking at his door brought him out of his thoughts. He stared at the door, confused, then turned the knob.

Spencer shoved his way inside, clearly determined. "This is soooo _not_ the way things are supposed to be." He stated loudly. "We're best friends. Kissing, and - and groping isn't something best friends are supposed to do. This isn't normal."

"Hello to you too." Socko muttered. Spencer shook his head.

"Don't you _hello_ me." He snapped. "What the hell is happening here?" He asked, and gestured between the two of them. "You... What happened... It wasn't like you just got hammered and started acting stupid. Cause if it was this morning wouldn't have happened. It wasn't just a stupid drunken mistake."

"No, it wasn't." Although Spencer has already said it, Socko confirming it seemed to catch him off guard. He blinked, and took a tiny step back.

"So... How long, then?

"What?"

"_How long._ If it wasn't just the alcohol making you do crazy things, you've been hiding this from me, then. How long for?" Spencer asked again.

"It doesn't matter." Socko shook his head.

"Doesn't matter? Socko, you literally jumped me last night. _And_ this morning." He started. "You can't just do that, and then say it doesn't matter!"

"Why not? You did practically the same thing! You kissed me back. Don't make excuses. You did, and you know it. You kissed be back, and then said you didn't want this. I'm not the only one sending mixed messages." Socko snapped back.

"It's not my fault!" Spencer defended, taking an unintentional step forward. "_You_ are the one doing all this."

"All what?"

"Everything. You can't just do this. You can't kiss me, and come onto me, and... You just can't." Socko tilted his head, and also took a step forward.

"And what?" He asked.

Spencer shook his head, and let out a few deep breaths, trying to find the right words. "You just can't do this. You can't make me feel like this." He paused, but continued before Socko could say anything. "I don't like being confused, Socko." He lowered his voice, not having the energy to yell anymore. "I was fine before this. It never occured to me, it was never even a _thought_, that this is why. That the reason i've had a real relationship, why i've barely even lasted a week with any girl who has ever been interested in me, is because i might be..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "I was _fine_ being oblivious." He said quietly.

But Socko couldn't believe that. "Were you? Would you have been actually happy never knowing why you could never be in a real relationship?" He asked. Spencer bit his lip, and looked down at his feet.

"I... I don't know." He admitted. "Maybe i wasn't happy. But it was easier that way."

"Easier?"

"Yes, easier! Everyone's view of me will change. Most people already have some kind of problem with me. It'll just get worse if i'm..." He shook his head again. He went to speak, but Socko beat him to it.

"You can't even say it!" Socko shouted, taking another step forward. "_Gay,_ Spencer. Gay." He heard Spencer take a sharp breath. "It won't matter, Spence! People don't care if you're gay. The people in your life that are actually worth keeping won't care. You-"

"I care." Spencer interrupted. "I can't be...that way."

"Jesus, Spencer, it's three stupid letters. One simple little word. _Gay_, Spencer. G-" Socko was inturrupted again, although this time in an entirely different way.

Spencer's lips found Socko's, desperate this time. Spencer's hands made their way to the back of Socko's neck, nails digging into the skin there. Caught off guard, Socko took a few unbalanced steps back, and Spencer followed, not daring to let them part. Socko's back came in contact with the wall, and Spencer's body pressed against his. He felt Spencer's tongue on his lips, and he opened his mouth eagerly. Teeth clashed, and tongues met. It wasn't even remotely romantic, and it was definately not perfect. It was the messiest, and neediest kiss he'd ever expierenced. Knowing that it wasn't just him catching the other man off guard, that it was Spencer who had started it this time, it was all the encouragement he needed. He pushed Spencer backwards slowly, making sure their lips never parted. Spencer's knees gave out when his legs hit the side of the couch. He fell onto the couch, Socko right there on top of him. Spencer let out a moan, and moved his hands to the hem of Socko's shirt.

It took everything he had to pull back. But Socko reluctantly managed to tear his lips off Spencer's. "Spence. Wait." He breathed, looking at the man below him. Spencer's eyes were still closed, and he too was panting.

"What?" He asked quietly.

Socko rested his head in the crook of Spencer's neck. "Are you sure about this?" He asked seriously."Spencer?" He asked when he didn't get an answer. Still, Spencer didn't say anything. Socko pulled back, and looked at Spencer, whose eyes were on the ceiling.

"You shouldn't have stopped me." He said quietly. Socko didn't say anything, but just continued watching his friend carefully. "You should've just let me keep going, without thinking."

"No. You need to think about it. Because nothing else is happening, not until i know that this is what you want." Socko answered. "I have my limits, Spencer. I don't know how many more times i can handle you changing your mind."

Spencer looked at him then, a rush of emotions showing on his face. He looked scared, and frustrated, but the look of desire lingered there, making his face the exact definition of mixed signals. "I'm not used to this." He told Socko quietly.

"I know." Socko replied. "I'm really not either."

"But at least you can say it. At least you're willing to accept that you are. I don't know if i can do that."

"Well, then i won't push you. It's your life, and it's your choice. I'll just drop it. That way you can move on from it." Socko started to sit up, but Spencer's arms immediately jerked up and wrapped themselves around Socko's neck, and Spencer pull him in for another, much gentler kiss.

"I need you to be patient with me." He whispered against Socko's lips. "_Please._"

Socko pulled back a bit. "How patient? Are we talking, we start off really slow and build from this, or patient as in, we keep this push and pull thing going for another how ever long you need to decide whether or not you want this?" Socko was putting his wall up, and Spencer knew it was his fault. Spencer brought his head up, kissing the other man once again, a small but desperate kiss.

"Slow and building." He answered.

Socko looked at him skeptically. "Are you sure?"

Spencer nodded, and kissed him again. "I want this." He said between kisses. "I want you." He continued. "You just have to-"

"Be patient, i know." Socko finished for him. Spencer bit his lip and looked at him, worried.

"You don't have to... I understand if-"

"I want to." Socko cut him off. " 'Cause I want you too."


End file.
